Forbidden Love!

Being trapped in an unhappy marriage and finding love outside it is at best very stressful and at worst a recipe for heartbreak and heartache for all concerned, especially if children are involved

Often, children are the only reason that many couples stay together, despite the general unhappiness of one or both partners.

We cannot choose whom we fall in love with so if you are married or have a married lover don't despair. It can work out if the love between you is strong enough and you have support from others.

Affairs only happen when there is unhappiness in the marriage and the love has gone from it. And there is nothing worse than a loveless unhappy marriage. I know of so many couples who suffer in unfulfilling and sometimes abusive relationships and still find it so difficult to take the steps needed to break free.

There are many reason for that of course. When a person has built a life together with their partner over what could be many years, their lives are so intertwined that breaking free can feel impossible because of the need to unravel so many aspects of their lives.

For people experiencing this kind of forbidden love, an affair, knowing that you have the possibility of true love waiting for you should give you all the strength you need to break free from the unhappy marriage and get through the difficult times, and turn this forbidden love into true love.

My advice to anyone in an unhappy relationship is to get out of it as soon as possible. The first difficult and frightening steps you take, will eventually lead you to a happier and more fulfilling time.

Differences in culture, race or religion can be very problematic in some relationships, and can often be characterised as forbidden love. Often family can pressurise someone to either not enter into a relationship or finish one if it involves someone from a different race, religion or culture. 

But if you are determined to celebrate the differences between you and can show family and friends how happy you are together then you can win through. Most reasonable and loving family and friends will only want what makes you happy and the rest you will never win round their approval. So to make it work you both need to be strong, committed and show people how much you love each other and ignore the people who disapprove.

Not so much forbidden love, but long distance relationships certainly need a lot of work, and those people experiencing them will get a lot of advice about how impossible and difficult they are to maintain.

However, in my experience they can work but need a lot of extra effort and some planning. The most successful long distance relationships have a plan to manage the distance.

No one chooses to be in a long distance relationship but circumstances, geographical location and work commitments can keep people apart.

The phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder” could be true but equally the saying “out of sight, out of mind” could also be true in some long distance relationships.

Open honest communication is key to making a long-distance relationship work. Don't let resentment fester about your situation. Rejoice in any opportunity to connect. In this day and age, there are so many ways to keep in touch that don't cost the earth: Skype, Zoom, Face Time, are just some of the ways available to the modern contemporary long-distance lovers.

All these methods provide ample opportunity to express feelings, hopes and dreams, and for expressing plans for your highly anticipated next meeting!

By openly talking about your feelings and about your resentment at the situation rather than at each other you can focus on looking forward to the time when you're next together.